It's Here!

Here is the video everyone has been talking about all summer.

Tammy: Digital Diva




I don't even have to write clever little comments within this post because the video is like humor heaven.

The quality sucks but you can thank youtube for that. The killer soundtrack makes up for the bad quality anyways. And if you're still not happy about the talking Tammy, there must be no pleasing you.

Ugly Face Competition 2007

So during Amanda's birthday party

That's her up there. I'm sure she will complain about the picture.
Back to my story...so at Amanda's birthday shin dig we decided to have a little friendly competition.

LLLADDDIIIEEEESSS anddd GEENNNTTSSS I am proud to announce the first annual UGLY FACE COMPETITION 2007.

The participants include:

Tony "La Senora" Gilbert


Nicole "is the cutest" Irizarry


Elena "Norbit" Chiriboga


These are the before pictures so don't get sassy.


Round one:



Elena clearly lost. That's not even wacky ugly.

Round Two:



So for some reason Tony and I turned into the cartoons that I draw. Compare for yourself. The cartoons are the ones on paper, not the first picture. It can be easy to confuse the two.

Round Two was tied but then all of the sudden Tony morphed into the ugliest thing to ever exist and completely won the damn thing.

Side view:

Front view:


Tony's prize was having me hack into his myspace and change his default to the picture above.
(I didn't really hack into it because I know his password but it makes me sound a lot cooler)

This friendly competition was brought to you by:

Tony's car almost getting towed

And by the original Gentile's beer:

Denim Divas

When a post starts out with 1. such a great title and 2. such a great picture odds are that I will not be able to exceed your expectations through out the rest of this. Read on anyways and fake that it's funny past this point.

Tony is,pretty much, the prettiest lady I know. When he puts on a wig he looks HAAAALArious (I know I spelled that wrong. I want you to read it like that)

When I put on a wig....well that's a different story:

I look exactly the same. Although that lady behind me....she is on Tony's level but I get the feeling she isn't wearing a wig.

Tony = Hilarious Mozart:


Me = Not funny at all small lady:


This is where I got the idea for the title:



Brain Teaser Time!
So Tony found some cool-hip new shoes:


I tricked you!!!! They are not cool and hip. They are half-shoe man clogs!! HAA


I did find these Universe Teaser shoes...

How is it that Easy Spirit found a way to unlock the secret of gravity and incorporated in a shoe for Senior Citizens ?
I get the feeling they are lying. But I can say, from experience, that Easy Spirit did truley unlock the secret of comfort because those shoes are easy on the ankles!

I leave you with this picture in order to try to win back some laughs.

Tony says that this African-American church suit made me look long. I think so too. (The pose, Tony said, made me look extra long)

Meet Princess

Meet Mrs. Princess Gilbert.

She is the saddest dog in the world.
Reasons:

Look at her.

She's had breast cancer like 4 times.

All of her puppies died a day after being born. She has no kin.

She has no bed or toys.

She smells like a can of tuna.

Look at her.

Here she is hanging out with us girls:


That's enough about the saddest dog in the world.
If you want to donate money or another hat please drop it off at the Gilbert residence.

Since we're on the topic of pets, here is a little update on your favorite feline:
Jazzy Chiriboga!

She's still hanging out in sinks and is a bitch.

Moving right along

That day that we met up with Princess and Jazz we also ate pasta and drank some wine.
Here are the side effects:

This is just a cute couple's picture. Nothing else but QT puppy love.

If you feed me wine I want to put on hats. Seeing as Princess the dog already had all the hats in the house, I went with a helmet.


Tony's feet up to no good again. They just look to make me mad.


This is what happens if your feet piss me off:

I lie and I say that "Yes, the marker is not permanent" and "No, You can barely see it"

Side effects of drinking too much with dinner #2:


Important side note:

Why??
Why??
Why do people dance without shoes on ?
WHY??

Back to my story about I forgot what.

We ran into a homeless person that was sippin' on the Goose.
As I would say " I ran into some friends"


He told me to take a picture of his bottle. He was saying something about classy and sassy or something.


The End!


P.S:
Question: Who is that QT on the right ?

Answer: It's good ol' Dr. Fart M.D

Super Secret Preview

Alright guys....I have an amazing treat!

Tammy Previews!!!

Here is a super secret sneak peek for the upcoming short film: "Tammy the Famous Tamogatchi that came to life and became Famous".

I'll set up the scene for you. This is right after Tammy comes to life and steals Owner's car. Owner is the name of the owner of the tamogatchi. I'm really not good at making up names.


(She needs pedal extenders to drive)

I'm actually the creator of this short film (incase you thought it was a true Hollywood summer blockbuster)

It's copyrighted so don't even try to sell this to a big time movie exec., unless you plan on giving me a lot of money/fame...

Mini - party

Elena and her parents decided to offend me.
They threw a mini-themed party and then invited me as if I weren't a small thing.

Mini red meats:


Mini cupcakes:


Mini buns:
Sidenote: Buns is such a funny word to use to refer to a butt.

Mini dollops of barbeque sauce on the burgers:


Mini-keg:


What the eff Elena and Parents?

(I didn't write that "eff" seriously because I would never say/type that lameness. Anyone that knows me knows how much I enjoy profanity but my mom reads this and I wouldn't want to disappoint Dolla, that's her name)

That brings me to the topic of saying things like "Fudge you" and "Holy Shnikes".
That's in the same category as "Smell yah later" and "WAAZZZAA" (like the Budwieser frogs) or "I'm Rick James Bitch" (as in Dave Chappel).

Gallery Walk

A trillion years ago (same day as Lobster Fest) me and some folks went to the gallery walk thing.

Gallery Walk definition : free food and drinks

If you want to go to the gallery walk thing, you should come with me because I. AM. A. RIOT!

Look at the cRaZy (so crazy that it needed up and down letters) things we did:

P.S - Although a close resemblance, that is NOT me next to Tony


That's me next to the cow and I'm leaning on one too. HAHA I just called Ben a cow.
P.S More - Ben was in no way injured, incase you were wondering why he is wearing a sling.


This was the free food at the first place:

Cheese. Just cheese. And not even good cheese. Just the type that no one likes. Who invented the half yellow half white type of cheese? Because it sucks.


After we went somewhere else we found a friend on the street and decided to chat it up by trapping him in a cup:
I'm always running into people I know!

We ran into the definition of Hispanic:


I ate some monster claw:


THIS IS THE MOST DELICIOUS TUNA IN THE WORLD:


And this is who I am currently dating: