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Recent pictures 2

2010-09-14T18:27:00.001-07:00

It's your birthday everyday Tony! YAY! I'm sure you love that I put this up in our apartment permanently! YAY!

Kendall graffiti

Tony is not amused with his snickers cake

Tonys are amused with knives

Suuuucks

New boss in town

Oh my god Tony! Seriously! Wake the fuck up! There's a cat on your head!

Um...Do I NOT look like Robert Downey Jr ?

A light breakfast

Tony does not know my brain very well

There's a Wayne Newton toupee in my bed!
I started my own company

Notice the sock roller skate thing

Again?

Too many fans

Don't mess with this guy. He looks kinda blind.
Bemmetts:

This one doesn't need a caption

"I want to skype you with my mustache on" - Lina

Blankets and more!

The only way to fix an office injury is with office supplies.

What am I doing you ask?

This:
Mega vs Mini

Does everyone not take their work lunch to work in a glittery hamster lunchbox?

Me being a super for-serious grown up

I have a famous friend that wears tapestry.
Tony thinks I was behind this prank
This would be a good movie

Yummmm

I picked this for our office. Woooooooops.

Deep.

Important email from Elena:

I immortalized Tony's grandmother's cat. Well one of eight cats. I think Mini Fufu is the deaf one.

My sister texted this to me:
!!!!

Remember when I gave Tony a tattoo ?

Chat Noir is a decent tipper

I think I have about 23498320 pictures on my phone of excessive beverage amounts. Apparently it never got old.

Remember when Chris was Benjamin Franklin ?

Lunch

Who's the crazy lady wearing a stress hairbun and Target vest? me!

Doghouse. Get it?

Elena made this for me from stuff I already owned such as spoons.

QT Cancer Bunny~!

QT god son.

QT ketchup hitler

Every single time we go to Publix I complain that they don't carry this anymore. Every. single. time. It looked just like the packaging:

That guy from that movie with the other guy that is really pale:

My foot makes me laugh

Thanks

Regular Monday hat

RIP

Important conversations:

Remember when Chris and I invented a mini-minivan and then we drove down 8th street and we realized that someone stole our idea so we made Tony round the block again so I could take a picture? I do.

The only brand for me

The only Christmas lady for me

Canada was really boring

"Where are my reading glasses?"

My favorite type of magic

My favorite type of games

My favorite type of bowels

Recent pictures

2009-12-22T10:56:00.000-08:00

I've gathered about 23409238 pictures from my phone. Maybe I'll add some more if I find time between writing emails and reading blogs and eating poptarts.

So now I'll write little stupid things about the pictures.

Tony doesn't like this joke: I ask " What day will it be on June 24th, 2056 ? " since Tony looks like the Rainman guy.

Facebook should add a "Favorite Pizza: " area to people's profiles. This would be mine.

Our tree. Tony brought it up in a shopping cart. Just like in the movies.

My favorite art of all the art I've ever seen:

Have you ever seen shoes made out of potatoes? Well here they are:

Get your holiday shopping done here. They have tons of offerts.

When I think Kendall, I think nuclear medicine.

Someone hasn't had their coffee!

Me and Elena talk about really important, serious world issues:

1. The name (It's like the breed of dog that looks like Brazilian Cougar type ladies) 2. I thought the only people that had that type of dog were girls.

Dignity at its most dignified. (look at the type of book it's reading)

A beautiful text from Tony:

I made us a little art to hang on the fridge. Those bittles in the main parade float are corn.

Tony preparing for a parade:

D Parade on a budget:

Wakey Wakey Tony! I'm pretty sure he's not going to like this picture up here.

Apparently these are the things I found important enough to write down when I was 15:

You know that song "Peanut Butter Jelly Time?" Well someone should do some remaking of it but with Grandpa Time.

Technology has let us achieve many many great things like:

Baby I know on the moon:

Baby I know in The Godfather:

Baby I know brown version:

Cats watching me on television:

Technology

2009-04-08T19:25:00.000-07:00

Technology is really really really cool. I made some examples of just how cool Technology is using Microsoft Word 97.

Example 1:

Those letters are made of real steel. What a steel!

Example 2:

This picture just totally freaked you out. It's ok, that's not a real ghost.

Calm down.

Example 3:

Ok. You caught me. This is the only WordArt that is actually completely true.

Example 4:

Don't feel bad because you don't want to date this sentence. It's society's fault. Not yours.

Example 5:

Seriously. Be fucking careful. I can only warn you so many times.

Further examples that I stole from gmail:

You can put a little .gif poop in each and every email you every write thanks to Technology!

TOOT TOOT

2009-02-03T20:43:00.000-08:00

By toot toot I mean a horn sound.

As if the dog were driving.

And that's funny because dogs can't drive!

But I'm saying that this particular dog is driving AND tooting the horn.

Which is next to impossible.

TOO funny!

My Favorite Actor

2009-02-01T18:56:00.000-08:00

is Standy the Dog.

There he is! (Upper right hand corner.)

Here he is again, sitting.

And who can forget this memorable favorite:

Watch him in full-motion action right here!!!

Skip straight to 3:30 the rest is blah blah blah, french french movie stuff whatever.

2 Hot 2 Handle

2009-01-26T21:37:00.000-08:00

Fire is SO cool.

And so am I for spending my whole Friday night burning leafs+etc.

Lurve

2009-01-20T15:03:00.001-08:00

This is what true lurve looks like. With flash.

I HAZ A BABY JEZUZ

2008-12-24T14:07:00.000-08:00

I bought myself a scanner and I got you the pictures that I scanned today!! No need to thank me.

1. A Serious Pony Horse

2. A Serious NoBunny Lady

Baby Jesus would be proud.

CeWEBerty Status

2008-12-15T10:56:00.000-08:00

Check me out. I'm on the internet.

NicoleIrizarry.Com

Photo/Street Cred: That picture was taken by Elena.

BOUNCE HOUSE!!!!

2008-11-24T13:37:00.000-08:00

Bounce house party!!

GO!

This bounce house party is guaranteed to have more than 3 guests unlike my own bounce house parties but will contain 300 times the fun.

GO!

Or I will never smile for the rest of my life.

GO!

Future Dog Names I

2008-11-09T20:05:00.000-08:00

When I get bored I write down future dog names. Here is that list with a special illustration of each name/personality:

Pikzza:

On the left we have Dog and on the right we have Smaller Dog:

Fine Dining:

Pleaket: (pleat + pocket)

Cheez It:

Future Dog*:

*Future Dog must always wear that hat.

Diners Club:

The following were invented by other people:

Ali and Danny
Joseph Stalin:
Elena

Blinky:

Sarah
B00k.

Those are zero's in his name therefore he is written in binary code.

Birthday Time!!

2008-11-09T14:46:00.000-08:00

Buy this for me. It's ok if I get more than one.

P.S - I gave myself away. Now you know that I google around for "shag dog puffkins".

It's too early to think

2008-10-13T08:16:00.000-07:00

so I'll let children do the work for me.

While browsing the interweb, I stumbled upon a website that coherces children into drawing out idioms. I have found yet another soul mate. My original soul mate you ask... Why it's none other than Stuart,Florida.

broken record:

Yeah, it's a lovely and accurate depiction of what a broken record is BUT check out the year that it was recorded in.

cross my heart and hope to die:

I smell me a young emo/mass cult suicide fan!!

what's up:

The speech bubble really adds to the mood and deep emotion in this one. But the boot hand is what won me over.

Guess what this picture is supposed to be:

Nooo, it's not the worst "drawing" by a child ever. It's V.I.P silly!

Susan Sarandon Party

2008-10-08T16:11:00.000-07:00

Finally someone is having a Susan Sarandon Cool Poofy Alien party. It's been ages since I've been to one of these:

P.S - I hear that band is out of this world.

Check them out:

The CouchFaces

Upcoming Elections

2008-10-07T07:56:00.001-07:00

I'm not one to get into politics but when I see a candidate I really believe in, I spread the word.
I'm currently campaign manager for a candidate that is really stirring things up locally!!!

Let me introduce you to Little.

Little is running for Pinecrest Educational Board Treasurer. He promises a low budget and high hopes!

Personal Qualities:
If you comb his hair it stays flat.
He's a model. (Obviously. Look at that profile)

Professional Qualities:
He's been alive for like a week and a half so he hasn't been ruined by Capitol Hill/Pinecrest Hill.
If you comb his hair it stays flat!! (two exclamation points this time)

Vote November 4th. Change Pinecrest. Change the world.

Fine. I embellished some facts in this post. Little is a stage name. Everything else is absolutely true.

Morning Art

2008-08-13T05:31:00.001-07:00

TAXI!

2008-08-04T09:42:00.000-07:00

Photo shoot Phun

2008-06-08T14:44:00.001-07:00

My boyfriends

2008-04-14T16:24:00.000-07:00

Look closely

2008-04-13T18:28:00.001-07:00

I'm smiling.

I've got new pants...

2008-04-13T18:22:00.000-07:00

They're made out of strawberry.

Bounce House III

2008-02-19T15:06:00.000-08:00

Everyone wanted these pictures. So here they are.

Let's see if I drank enough coffee to make witty comments.

This is the third installment of the Bounce House parties. The way bounce house parties work is that I invite around 10 people over to bounce in the bounce house. Then around 5 show up and we drink "juice" that I made. The recipe you ask...Sure...Here it is:

2 bottles of grain alcohol
1 tub of tang
2 tubes of crystal light
Lots of Splenda (I'm watching my figure)

When 5 people are the whole party you have to get creative with entertainment:

You also have to buy the correct amount of nachos:

Tony: "I wanna do the electric slide because I like the entertainment on cruises.."

Elena: "I do not want to do the electric slide because I look like Don King's hair"

Here are the really super cool pictures of people doing flips and twirls:

You: "Oh Nicole, You don't have any cool/super awesome bounce house pictures of yourself"
Me: "Sure I do..."
That was when I thought wearing a hat was a good idea. Don't judge me.

The good thing about having a 5-7 people party is that it's easy to relocate....so we did.
We crashed a party somewhere around my house.
I had the really funny idea of telling them that I was a photographer for Ocean drive.
This is how they posed:

I wish I was kidding.

(sort of/not really)Recent Activities

2007-11-19T13:11:00.001-08:00

I've been getting a lot of good grief about not updating this puppy.

This is what I was doing instead of being a in front of my computer...

We decided to celebrate Elena's unemploymentness with some fun time activities!

First things first. We hit up Sugar Heaven.

If I were a bible writer I would describe heaven like this:

"...and heaven was a wonderful place where you paid for diabetes by the pound..."

If I were still a bible writer I would also mention this GENIUS spray dessert.This spray dessert would sit on the right hand of Jesus:

My thoughts on spray food: If you are at the point in your life where you are too lazy to chew dessert, maybe you should lay off the sweets and re-think your life.

After that Elena tried on the least practical shoes created:

Poor Elena's pinky toe.

Then we ate some soup and salad at Olive Garden. Why you ask...because we saw a commercial for it. Since we were already on Flagler and a spanish-only area, we picked up some beer...

and my favorite spooky dessert....Glo-Balls with S'cream filling.

Is the spooky part the fact that you are eating something neon or that you turn into these poses when you eat them ?

Moving right along...We headed over to:

Like I always say "Why limit yourself to Flagler when Hialeah is waiting around the corner!"

Side note: This is the type of picture you will find when you lend Elena your camera.

Back to the story about nothing:

Oh hey Tony! What might you be browsing the aisles for at this fancy thriftstore ?

Man clogs you say ?

I can't even look at that picture for more than 10 seconds.

As usual....say it with me...I ran into some friends or IRISF

After a hard day of shopping in dust...

we decided to blow off some steam the only way we know how...

Dave and Busters' hammer tower.

The other pictures were posed and meant to look cheesy and funny and ironic and whatever else...
but this one...
this one is real....

A couple of things are going on this picture:
1. Umbrella attached to pants. That's a baby step away from a leather cellphone holder.
2. Thumbs up. A genuine "this-activity-is-so-awesome-I-want-to-express-it-with-my-thumb" thumbs up.

Let me take some time out to introduce you to one of my friends...

Beer Depot.
Anyone who violates copyright laws in order to have a witty sign is a friend of mine!

(old)Inside:

They recently remodeled. It no longer looks like somewhere that would sell stolen guns, which kinda sucks.

This is what you can get for 8 dollars. Yes, the six pack is home made.

Back to my non-computery activities...

Me and elena (on not the same day that all the other stuff happened up there) went over to Micheal's Craft Store to pick up the bare essentials.

Right about now you're saying to yourself: "Now Nicole, I see the purpose of all of those things EXCEPT those tiny baby doll shoes.."
My reply is: "Those are for Elena's cat. Duh"

...."Dear Jesus please make a can of spray paint that is proportional to me in both heighth and spunk..."

I'de like to end this post with this picture:

Gallery walk 2

2007-10-19T10:12:00.000-07:00

If someone complains that there aren't enough words in this post, I'm going to say this : You can't have your Carvel Almond Ice cream and have a fuckload of red gel on it too.

That was a reference to that ol' saying: "You can't have your cake and eat it [with a tooth on it] too..

So incase you breezed over that title, This is Gallery Walk 2...

We...ran..into...some...friends...To say the very least

I was going to make some sort of brown joke with these two pictures but then I noticed that all of Tony's teeth fell out.

We went to a very entertaining party after gallery walk.
I tried to get Sofie's attention but she was busy talking business.

So I went to get some beer...

...and then some chips...

...and then some beer...

...and then some 666 Anti-christ...

Tony got served... pie

Artsy Turtles:

Artsy deadly cougar cat thing:

Artsy deadly cube made out of pins that I wasn't allowed to touch:

It's Here!

2007-09-18T08:02:00.000-07:00

Here is the video everyone has been talking about all summer.

Tammy: Digital Diva

I don't even have to write clever little comments within this post because the video is like humor heaven.

The quality sucks but you can thank youtube for that. The killer soundtrack makes up for the bad quality anyways. And if you're still not happy about the talking Tammy, there must be no pleasing you.

Ugly Face Competition 2007

2007-09-09T17:50:00.000-07:00

So during Amanda's birthday party

That's her up there. I'm sure she will complain about the picture.
Back to my story...so at Amanda's birthday shin dig we decided to have a little friendly competition.

LLLADDDIIIEEEESSS anddd GEENNNTTSSS I am proud to announce the first annual UGLY FACE COMPETITION 2007.

The participants include:

Tony "La Senora" Gilbert

Nicole "is the cutest" Irizarry

Elena "Norbit" Chiriboga

These are the before pictures so don't get sassy.

Round one:

Elena clearly lost. That's not even wacky ugly.

Round Two:

So for some reason Tony and I turned into the cartoons that I draw. Compare for yourself. The cartoons are the ones on paper, not the first picture. It can be easy to confuse the two.

Round Two was tied but then all of the sudden Tony morphed into the ugliest thing to ever exist and completely won the damn thing.

Side view:

Front view:

Tony's prize was having me hack into his myspace and change his default to the picture above.
(I didn't really hack into it because I know his password but it makes me sound a lot cooler)

This friendly competition was brought to you by:

Tony's car almost getting towed

And by the original Gentile's beer:

Denim Divas

2007-09-08T16:43:00.000-07:00

When a post starts out with 1. such a great title and 2. such a great picture odds are that I will not be able to exceed your expectations through out the rest of this. Read on anyways and fake that it's funny past this point.

Tony is,pretty much, the prettiest lady I know. When he puts on a wig he looks HAAAALArious (I know I spelled that wrong. I want you to read it like that)

When I put on a wig....well that's a different story:

I look exactly the same. Although that lady behind me....she is on Tony's level but I get the feeling she isn't wearing a wig.

Tony = Hilarious Mozart:

Me = Not funny at all small lady:

This is where I got the idea for the title:

Brain Teaser Time!
So Tony found some cool-hip new shoes:

I tricked you!!!! They are not cool and hip. They are half-shoe man clogs!! HAA

I did find these Universe Teaser shoes...

How is it that Easy Spirit found a way to unlock the secret of gravity and incorporated in a shoe for Senior Citizens ?
I get the feeling they are lying. But I can say, from experience, that Easy Spirit did truley unlock the secret of comfort because those shoes are easy on the ankles!

I leave you with this picture in order to try to win back some laughs.

Tony says that this African-American church suit made me look long. I think so too. (The pose, Tony said, made me look extra long)

Meet Princess

2007-09-06T12:45:00.000-07:00

Meet Mrs. Princess Gilbert.

She is the saddest dog in the world.
Reasons:

Look at her.

She's had breast cancer like 4 times.

All of her puppies died a day after being born. She has no kin.

She has no bed or toys.

She smells like a can of tuna.

Look at her.

Here she is hanging out with us girls:

That's enough about the saddest dog in the world.
If you want to donate money or another hat please drop it off at the Gilbert residence.

Since we're on the topic of pets, here is a little update on your favorite feline:
Jazzy Chiriboga!

She's still hanging out in sinks and is a bitch.

Moving right along

That day that we met up with Princess and Jazz we also ate pasta and drank some wine.
Here are the side effects:

This is just a cute couple's picture. Nothing else but QT puppy love.

If you feed me wine I want to put on hats. Seeing as Princess the dog already had all the hats in the house, I went with a helmet.

Tony's feet up to no good again. They just look to make me mad.

This is what happens if your feet piss me off:

I lie and I say that "Yes, the marker is not permanent" and "No, You can barely see it"

Side effects of drinking too much with dinner #2:

Important side note:

Why??
Why??
Why do people dance without shoes on ?
WHY??

Back to my story about I forgot what.

We ran into a homeless person that was sippin' on the Goose.
As I would say " I ran into some friends"

He told me to take a picture of his bottle. He was saying something about classy and sassy or something.

The End!

P.S:
Question: Who is that QT on the right ?

Answer: It's good ol' Dr. Fart M.D

Super Secret Preview

2007-09-03T12:20:00.000-07:00

Alright guys....I have an amazing treat!

Tammy Previews!!!

Here is a super secret sneak peek for the upcoming short film: "Tammy the Famous Tamogatchi that came to life and became Famous".

I'll set up the scene for you. This is right after Tammy comes to life and steals Owner's car. Owner is the name of the owner of the tamogatchi. I'm really not good at making up names.

(She needs pedal extenders to drive)

I'm actually the creator of this short film (incase you thought it was a true Hollywood summer blockbuster)

It's copyrighted so don't even try to sell this to a big time movie exec., unless you plan on giving me a lot of money/fame...

Mini - party

2007-09-02T15:08:00.000-07:00

Elena and her parents decided to offend me.
They threw a mini-themed party and then invited me as if I weren't a small thing.

Mini red meats:

Mini cupcakes:

Mini buns:
Sidenote: Buns is such a funny word to use to refer to a butt.

Mini dollops of barbeque sauce on the burgers:

Mini-keg:

What the eff Elena and Parents?

(I didn't write that "eff" seriously because I would never say/type that lameness. Anyone that knows me knows how much I enjoy profanity but my mom reads this and I wouldn't want to disappoint Dolla, that's her name)

That brings me to the topic of saying things like "Fudge you" and "Holy Shnikes".
That's in the same category as "Smell yah later" and "WAAZZZAA" (like the Budwieser frogs) or "I'm Rick James Bitch" (as in Dave Chappel).

Gallery Walk

2007-09-02T14:25:00.000-07:00

A trillion years ago (same day as Lobster Fest) me and some folks went to the gallery walk thing.

Gallery Walk definition : free food and drinks

If you want to go to the gallery walk thing, you should come with me because I. AM. A. RIOT!

Look at the cRaZy (so crazy that it needed up and down letters) things we did:

P.S - Although a close resemblance, that is NOT me next to Tony

That's me next to the cow and I'm leaning on one too. HAHA I just called Ben a cow.
P.S More - Ben was in no way injured, incase you were wondering why he is wearing a sling.

This was the free food at the first place:

Cheese. Just cheese. And not even good cheese. Just the type that no one likes. Who invented the half yellow half white type of cheese? Because it sucks.

After we went somewhere else we found a friend on the street and decided to chat it up by trapping him in a cup:
I'm always running into people I know!

We ran into the definition of Hispanic:

I ate some monster claw:

THIS IS THE MOST DELICIOUS TUNA IN THE WORLD:

And this is who I am currently dating:

Lobster Fest 2007

2007-08-26T09:38:00.001-07:00

Tony and I drove 3 hours for this event.

Seriously.

I know, I know. We are no longer cool but it was TOTALLY WORTH IT!!!

Follow me and see why.....

Within minutes of arriving, this fine fella sang in my face:

As usual, I ran into some friends:

This is one of the lobster dishes that I tried (that sounds like I ate a lobster-flavored plate).
The first item in this picture is delicious lobster ceviche.
The second is the beer in which I spilled ceviche juice and kept on drinking because I'm apparently very good at pretending things don't taste like onions/ceviche juice.

I guess some people really like lobster in their drinks?

I ate these little trinkets as well:

At this point in my fest journey I had early 90's lesbian sleeves:

No napkin to wipe lobster butter and corn husk off of your hands?
Don't freak out and cause a party-foul just use Tony's method:

Key West had a lot of great gift options.
I don't know why you would buy gifts at Key West unless you're one of the leather-skin wierdos that lives there for real.

I will now put little sassy/witty comments under all of these picture...

Genius.

My personal dream come true. It must be so handy to have a shell with your name on it.

I personally freaked out when I saw this. How can one material possesion have all these jobs?

After all this fun we ran into a machine called "THE BULL"
Basically you had to squeeze the two bull things and prove how strong you were or something...

Tony almost got voted Macho!

I actually couldn't move the horn things so I got voted something that was less than a woman so I guess I'm pretty weak ?

I guess I am no longer weak if I buy a fuck-load of guns:

Ooh La La!

Pie Day

2007-08-24T19:24:00.000-07:00

No...Not as in 3.14...as in the type that you eat.

I realize that this happened before the wedgie park but I went a little blog-nuts (it's a word) and got out of control and posted the wedgie park thing first. Sorry for confusing my audience of 5.

Back to my story....

I went over to the Chiriboga Residence (the R is capitalized because that is the name of their house, legally) and Elena came up with the genius idea of making one of my favorite light-calorie snacks...PECAN PIE!!!

So we headed over to the local Publix and gathered the ingredients:

1 part private-school-girl frosting (That's the only type they buy)

2 parts creep bus driver:

A gazzilion parts liquid diabetes:

Finished product!

Rapids Wedgie Park

2007-08-24T18:43:00.000-07:00

Yes, I came up with that title all by myself.
Yes, It is the official name of the water park in West Palm Beach or Broward or Boca or somewhere.
Everything outside of Miami-Dade county just blurs in my small brain.

Except Stuart.
Shout out to Stuart, Florida for being the best named city in the whole state!!
Also, It is the sailfish capital of the world. Whatever that means. I found that on their website. (The city of Stuart....has...a...website...WHY?)

That was an ironic shout out to Stuart. It's not like I really think it's cool. I would never threaten my social status by getting Stuart's back.

Enough about Stuart. Let's talk Rapids...

Sooo We took a little Trip to Rapids water park to give Ben a fond memory to take back to that little town with a sign that is a sandwich.

It was the worst day of my life. I had to ride things that I'm sure were covered in urine and for some reason all ended with water up my nose and half of my bathing suit in my ass. I got graphic. I'm sorry, but it was really bad.Everyone else had a blast. Here are the pictures from that day:

This is what happens when Elena finds a giraffe in her driveway:

Ben? Why so down? Why don't you join us in our giraffe-car fun?

YAY! My giraffe-based anxiety is gone!!

This is apparently what a giraffe looks like while break-dancing:

And this is what Tony looks like in shoes that make me hate his feet:

Current shinanigans

2007-08-12T16:05:00.000-07:00

Since I never stop shinanigating, Here are the current activities:

First off, I'de like to take a minute to introduce the cutest thing (besides myself) you will see in your whole life.

A MINI FILING CABINET

It's the most romantic present I have ever gotten.
I can finally file all my mini things.

Now that we got that over with, on to shinanigans...

At some point during my summer Elena came back and because she did that, I got her a little present:

Luckly, the day after she came back was the Free Colt 45 party.

I guess you can say we got a little carried away.

We had a contest to see who had the best/most hotdogs while holding a can on their neck.

Hotdogs = chins
As in "Wow Mrs, your hotdogs look very shiny and nice today"

I think I won.

After that night, we decided to tone it down and hang out at Micheal's Crafts Store.

A piece of Ben's car fell off but we all decided that it wasn't vital.

Elena found a way to make her eyes seem as if they were next to her ears.

Then we got tattoos to commemorate the event.

Later on I discovered my favorite type of tube:

and my favorite flavor for candy/food:

Other summer shinanigans

2007-08-12T15:20:00.000-07:00

I have been shinanigating (it's a real word) a lot.

First off, I attended a vegetarian BBQ.

I had chicken.

Sarah had some watermelon.

Later on in my life I made myself a light breakfast.

Currently, I am working on animating Sarah's dream that a tamogatchi came to life and became famous.

This is the scene where the tamogatchi (aka Tammy) finally shows off her singing skills and WOWs the crowd.

It's a very emotional scene.

I also attended another party with appe-teasers.
This hostess got the dip memo, but the pigs-in-a-blanket completely ruined the party for me.

No real person likes those.

After the Big Apple....

2007-08-12T14:36:00.000-07:00

Since my fans (Elena, Ben and Sarah) have been begging me to blog it up, Here this is.

I have been up to many activities since my last picture/rambles.

Here we gooo!

...When me and Tony got back from the city that never sleeps we headed over to Sabrina's party.

I started out the night with a lovely purchase of Gee&Tee ingredients:

Sarah bought a jello-shot, which is always a bad choice.

There was dip (number one requirement for a jam) so the party was BANGIN'.

I tagged up my cup.

Also there was the correct amount of bubbles for a party that size.

Side note: That is my favorite number after Tatrillion

Count them, all the bubbles should be there.

That night I met the person that will die the youngest.

and then I ran into a couple of friends...

Spencer: Royalty

2007-07-16T15:48:00.001-07:00

Everything that I am about to write (including the title) was sent to me VIA text message by Sarah Taylor.

"This dog was offered a job at a hospital..."

"..but couldn't take it and lives a life of misery/dress up"

That's Sarah in the middle.

Animals

2007-07-16T14:19:00.000-07:00

As promised through the subtitle of this blog: Animals with Jobs

Seeing-eye-horses......
There is a lot I like about this picture.
1. The horse is mini
2. It is wearing mini-horse sneakers
3. That dog is fucking ugly/Diana Ross
4. The name of the horse is Cuddles

Mini-horses aren't only for the blind. You can get one as an "emotional support" animal. I wish I was kidding.

I know what you're thinking, "Nicole, I'de love to have some helping hooves around the house but what are my options for mini-Horse footwear ?"

Don't worry!

If sneakers aren't for your horse you have the option of a cowboy boot. I personally find the spurs over the top but then again so is a damn boot for a horse.

There is always the clog option.

Moving along:

This cat has a real job.

It is a stationmaster of a train station. His two friends are deputies.

Guess that ol' saying was right all along: "Make a cat a stationmaster and he will make his two friends the deputies."

They get paid in food.

Common question: "What exactly is in this cat's job description?"
Answer: To greet guests. Duh.

This lovely poodle named Pluto promotes pedestrian safety by walking on it's hind legs.

This is the type of job I'm looking for. Sash + walking.

I don't know what type of job this chimp has but he makes a lot of money (check out his fanny pack).

I'm ok with this whole situation but how did a chimp get to own a dog?

Side note - Diana Ross the Boss

2007-07-09T11:21:00.000-07:00

She is fucking nuts. What in god's name is wrong with her brain?

Highlights of the video include: She's singing in the damn rain like a crazy person. She starts a concert from her a trailer wearing.....something that looks like tulle and organs put together.

P.S - She looks like a damn pekingese.

New York

2007-07-07T18:26:00.000-07:00

Some highlights of my 2.5 day trip.

Tony's sleeping arrangement:

JJ, the most mystical person I know, took us to a night club named Cock.
A penis looked at Tony straight in the eyes.

(read 2 blogs down for words that describe JJ. Incase you are too lazy to do that, I have posted a video that describes him pretty well. Sorry JJ.)

I'm the one skidadling around. Elena is the corpse. The wall art is from Prague.

Me and my petite family and Tony ate some Pinkberry.

Sarah claims it's made out of humans.
I say: It's human-licious.
I strike again with my clever humor.

Tony and I headed over to a china street to find "THE" dumpling house.
Before I show you the bah-gain (Rhymes with noggin) me and Tony ate I would like to ask you to take some time to read the most beautiful piece of writing on dumplings I have ever read.

Here is what we ate there for 7 whole dollars:
Beef pancake:

Two plates of steamed pork heaven:

Dumpling juice:

On that china street me and Tony learned some lessons.

People eat critters/monsters. Examples below.

How to achieve the worst possible breath ever invented VIA fried potatoes:

And Finally, the most important of all China Street lessons:

In between Vacations

2007-07-07T16:54:00.000-07:00

Since there was a large request from fans to post what I did after I mingled in the windy city and before I skidadled over to New York I am writing this.

Me and Elena Chiriboga first started our day like a lot of other Americans.
We purchased a lot of fireworks.

Side note: E. Chiriboga was drinking canned water.

Then we headed over to the supermarket.
We found Elena's favorite section. Red Meat !!!!

Then we found my favorite section. Blood pressure!!!

My pulse was zero but my blood pressure was low!!!

We found a duck that didn't love Elena.

We set off a smoke granade. Elena danced in it.

Then we built her cat a new condo. It's rent controlled.

More Chi-town fun

2007-07-07T16:14:00.000-07:00

Me and Tony saw everything the windy city had to offer.

Fountain of some bitches face:

Shark fetuses that were real and moved and were gross:

A cartoon rat gang attacking a cartoon man:

A sign that is everything that JJ is:

A home depot purse:

The cat that Tony was having an affair with:

The turtle that Tony was having an affair with:

Three blind mice (They had that written next to them. They were really blind. Seriously.):

And Tony looked into the real estate market:

I found that last caption really funny. I'm really funny.

Vacations-ing

2007-07-07T15:55:00.000-07:00

Me and Tonzington headed over to Chicago.

While we were there we stumbled across a little slice of heaven.
Taste of Chicago 07.
It's a food festival.
Here is what we ate within an hour's time:

This is a meatball sandwich. I found it funny.

Haha. Just Kidding. We didn't eat those African American puppets.

Daytime Activity

2007-06-22T12:17:00.000-07:00

My bike:

I ride my bike with the nicest homeless I know/Elena Chiriboga:

We ride on over to CVS and purchase popsicles and warheads and eat them while sitting on the sidewalk and listening to people yell about the fine establishment that is Piccadilly restaurant.

Also, we found a store that is everything that Elena is:
-Open
-Cigarettes
-Scarface

Shout Out

2007-06-22T11:23:00.000-07:00

Shout out to my girl Jazzy Chiriboga.

Thank you for biting my Achilles tendon and pawning my watch.

Snacks

2007-06-22T11:08:00.000-07:00

Everyone has been asking me what important snacks I have been eating lately so I decided to let everyone know.

It started with the Mall Y'all

They were closed.

So me and my ex co-worker/moon-made-out-of-ribs-friend SARAH TAYLOR headed over to the local Perrine asian market.

Here is what we purchased/ate.

#1 Chicken nugget flavored chips

#2 Sweet corn balls

AND to wash all that fun down we purchased these liquid de-lites:

#1 Yellow flower liquid tea

#2 Orange Sac Juice

Sarah also bought money. She is planning a prank in which she is going to try to pay with it.

That's the whole prank.

First Post

2007-06-22T10:49:00.000-07:00

I think this picture sums up a lot of my values.

#1. Skinhead
#2. BBQ